


Only Him

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Series: Dean and Cas Bingo [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel in a Female Vessel (Supernatural), Dean's Lowkey Sexuality Crisis, Enjoyyyyy, Fem!Cas, First Kiss, Getting Together, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Bisexual Sam Winchester, Other, Sexuality Being Fluid, Taking A Different Vessel, Temporarily Female Castiel, Vessels, but he's comfortable with it, maybe? - Freeform, question mark?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20754998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: She was both feminine and badass and Dean knew it was shallow but he wanted to bang her.or, in which Castiel isn't as oblivious as most people seem to think they are, and by the way just in case y'all forgot, angels don't have genders!





	Only Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeanandCasBingo](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=DeanandCasBingo), [writingisntapastime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingisntapastime/gifts).

> This was written for the Castiel and DeanandCas bingos. It covers the squares "Fem!Cas" and "Sexuality Crisis". That second one was mostly unintentional.
> 
> It got away from me. It wasn't supposed to really have a plot. Oops?
> 
> Enjoy!

When the chick showed up, it caught everyone by surprise, but most of all Dean.

She appeared right behind them in their motel room and they didn’t even know that she was there until she cleared her throat. The boys whipped around and stared at her in awe, jaws on the floor.

Because she was _gorgeous. _She had caramel-colored skin and warm brown hair down to her hips. Her featured were delicate and her body was all curves. The only thing that hadn’t changed – the thing that should have tipped Dean off – were the piercing blue eyes. They weren’t quite like Castiel’s blue, they were darker, like the ocean at night, but they were just as shrewd and they made her look like she could see right through anyone.

She looked both feminine and badass and Dean knew it was shallow but he wanted to bang her. He wanted to bang her _so fucking bad_.

“You called?” she asked, sounding unimpressed. Her voice was soft and gentle but it rang with a note of power, a note that charged the air and made the hairs on Dean’s forearms stand up straight.

“Uh, yeah, hi. Who are you?” he demanded, trying to regain his composure. “I mean, obviously you’re an angel… think you could get a word in for us upstairs with Castiel?”

The angel rolled her eyes. “For my Father’s sake,” she muttered. “I’m here. Hello, Dean. What do you need?”

Dean stared at her for a minute, but Sam stepped back instantly. “Uh… hey Cas,” he muttered. Dean glanced at his brother.

“That’s not-” he looked back at the angel chick as the realization started to dawn on him. “_Cas_?” he asked disbelievingly.

“My vessel was rendered temporarily unusable. _What. Do. You need?_” she hissed through gritted teeth.

“Uh…” Dean floundered. He suddenly didn’t even remember why they’d needed Cas in the first place. Thankfully, Sam came to his rescue.

“Well, we’re tracking this… we’re not sure what it is. That was the part we were hoping you could help us with.”

Cas crossed the room to Sam’s side, where he was standing by the table with books spread out all over the place. Jimmy Novak was six inches shorter than Sam, but this girl was another three, making the height difference look absolutely ridiculous from where Dean was standing. “It’s an arkosios,” she announced. “Half angel, half demon, all trouble. That’s what did this to me in the first place.”

Sam nodded. “Okay, now that we know what it is… how do we kill it?”

“With quite the bastardization of your normal hunting techniques,” Cas replied, her lips curling just a little.

#~+~#

When Cas had said ‘bastardization’, she really hadn’t been kidding. This thing was a whole new level of Weird Crap that Only Shows Up When You Absolutely Don’t Need It. Holy fire, salt circle, exorcism, angel blade. What did they have that they _weren’t _using?

Dean let Sam and Cas take care of most of the prep work, but he couldn’t help checking out the hot chick in the room every so often. When she left to buy them food, however, Sam turned to face Dean and gave him a look like he was both the most amusing and the most exasperating person he’d ever met.

“Dude, just talk to her!” he told his brother. Dean avoided his eyes and Sam huffed. “Cas isn’t a guy anymore! Your only barrier has been removed! Just fucking… go on and profess your undying love or whatever to Cas and you can keep your hypermasculine image.”

Dean knew what Sam thought about his reservations to tell Cas how he felt. He thought that Dean was being an idiot and he needed to stop being so toxically masculine and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him being bi. Not that Sam would know. He wasn’t bi, was he? (Was he? Dean actually wasn’t 100% sure, but now that he was thinking about it, it was very possible that his brother wasn’t totally straight either.)

But Dean didn’t really care much what Sammy thought of his reservations, because there was some very real fear hidden behind them. He didn’t want to get rejected. He’d never felt like this about anyone – this was more than it had been with Cassie or Lisa or any other girl he’d stayed with long enough to maybe love.

And it was _Cas_. Cas was his best friend, and she was suddenly an extremely attractive woman and well… he couldn’t exactly ignore it anymore.

He sighed. “I know, Sam.” He wanted to say something else, but he didn’t know what. Sam dropped his arms abruptly and looked down.

“Yeah, well. I’m getting really tired of all the pining and the manpain, so figure your shit out or I’m going to do it for you,” he warned before standing up. He passed Cas on his way out the door and muttered, “back in a few,” before disappearing out of sight.

Cas looked after him for a moment before setting her bags on the table. “What’s going on, Dean?” she asked, and her voice was still so delicate and pretty and Dean didn’t know what to do with that. And he didn’t know how to answer her question either, so he just shrugged. Cas’ lips formed a silent ‘oh’ and she continued. “I got us all burgers. I got you three, but I wasn’t sure if you’d eat them all. I also bought blueberry pie.”

She was pulling these things out of the bags as she listed them off, but she was abruptly cut off by Dean walking over to her and hugging her.

“You’re my best friend, Cas,” he told her. “You’re my best friend. Thank you.”

#~+~#

The next day, they handled the monster of the week.

Cas stood on the sidelines, making sure they did all the things she had told them to do, but didn’t interfere.

They followed her instructions to the letter; lit the holy oil once the arkosios was inside the circle, surrounded that with salt, stabbed the bitch with her angel blade and Sam performed a beautifully executed Latin exorcism.

And just as she’d predicted, once the arkosios was dead, her vessel was restored to its previous usable state. She mumbled something about being able to “feel” him, then flew away. A few minutes later, Castiel reappeared, this time comfortably male, all hard lines and stubble and huge ridiculous trenchcoats. And Dean should have been disappointed, but he was mostly just… relieved.

(He didn’t hug his friend, though; he just gave him a small smile and hoped that would be enough to say all the things he never could. He just hoped that Cas would get it.)

#~+~#

Castiel was confused. Sam had implied to him several times that Dean had certain _romantic_ feelings for him (feelings that Castiel wholeheartedly returned) but that the reason he refused to act on them was due to the fact that Castiel was inhabiting the body of a man. He had thought that once that was remedied – when he was forced to take another vessel, he saw it as an opportunity and chose a female instead – that Dean would be more inclined to pursue his feelings. But Dean had ignored him for much of their time together, and Cas was unsure as to why.

He supposed he should figure it out, and since Sam had proven all but useless in that regard, he was left with only one choice of who to talk to – the man himself.

The first opportunity he got, he mentioned that he was happy to have his vessel back. Dean made a sound like he was choking and muttered, “yeah- yeah, me too, buddy,” before changing the subject entirely.

That line of questioning didn’t seem to get him very far – noted. Time to change tactics.

When he asked Dean what it was about women that he found appealing, Dean practically sprinted out of the room to avoid the question. Another useless line of inquiry.

Which left him with only one more idea before he gave up.

“Dean, did you like me more as a female?”

Blunt directness.

Dean’s face was red, and that was pretty new. Dean rarely blushed, at least when Cas was around. “Uh… no, Cas,” he muttered. “No, I like you better like this.”

“Why? If you prefer women to men, why do you like me this way?”

Dean looked like he had forgotten how to bring air into his lungs. “I don’t- ‘_prefer_’? The hell are you getting at, man?”

“In your relationships,” Cas clarified. “You prefer to be with women over men. And yet when I took the form of a woman, you ignored my existence entirely.” He paused briefly, searching for a proper Dean-ism. He finally settled on, “what’s up with that?”

Dean snorted. “Cas, I- you’re my best friend, dude. And Cas – _this _Cas – has been my best friend for years. Not some random chick. It was you, dude, it was always you, and I like you better when you’re wearing your coat and being klutzy and weird and awkward and _familiar_. Cause I _get _that. That other one… I didn’t get her.”

Cas sat back on his haunches. “Huh,” was all he said as he considered this new information. “So you mean that you like me because it’s _me_?”

Dean sighed resignedly. “Yeah. Cause you’re… ‘the one who gripped me tight and raised me from perdition’.” He laughed a little bitterly. “You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve known in my life, and I’ve known a lot of people. Granted, most of ‘em are dead, but you’re still in the top three.”

“Top three?” Cas inquired, smiling slightly. “Who else?”

“Sammy, _obviously_, and my mom.”

“Tell me about her,” Cas offered, and Dean looked at him with this unfathomable expression that carried hints of awe and love and other things Cas couldn’t put a name to.

“She was a total badass. I don’t remember her that well, but I remember that she kicked ass and she could take care of herself. I remember that she was fuckin’ amazing, and she’s kind of my hero. But I mean…”

“You feel betrayed,” Cas asserted, and Dean nodded. “You feel like she should have been there in your childhood, and she wasn’t, even though she didn’t mean to die. That is valid, Dean. Your feelings are valid.”

Dean’s shoulders heaved, lifting up to his ears and then dropping as low as they went. It looked like he was giving up, but on what Castiel couldn’t say.

And then Dean was kissing him. One hand on his jaw, one hand on his arm, mouth pressing against Castiel’s own borrowed one. But Cas didn’t care that this wasn’t his body, and he didn’t care that he was so much stronger than Dean would ever dream to be. He let the hunter push him backward until he was lying on the cheap motel bed, still glued to Dean. Still holding him as close as he could get, still keeping him safe from the rest of the world.

And when Sam came back, he stood in the doorway watching them for an embarrassingly long time before clearing his throat to make his presence known.

Cas sat up, almost slamming his forehead into Dean’s on accident, and smiled at Sam. Sam grinned back at him, and then turned his smile on his brother. “So guys, huh?” he asked rhetorically.

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Cas just a little closer. “Nah, Sammy. It’s not men. It’s just him. Only him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hell fuckin yeah, @writingisntahobby, I sneaked that one line you sent me via Discord in there. 'Cause it's awesome, and I loved it, and I _really_ wanted to use it in a Destiel fic. And it ended up becoming the title!
> 
> Love,  
-Sil


End file.
